


Sherlock is a girl's name

by greekwords



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Sherlock's POV, Trans!Sherlock, end of series 3, suicidal behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 04:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekwords/pseuds/greekwords
Summary: Sherlock's thoughts after he boards the plane to his six-month assignment.





	Sherlock is a girl's name

**Author's Note:**

> This is short because I'm no good at writing. I just wanted to put some sentences out there.
> 
> Feel free to expand on this if you like it and you write.

It was meant to make him laugh.

I know I'm not going to see him again. It's my fault for not getting to him sooner, for not telling him how I felt (how I feel) and letting him say the words back.

It's my fault for keeping secrets from him.

But none of it matters now - I'm going to die (I've picked the best way to go. Screw Mycroft. Can't die in six months if I'm going to die today. And my old suppliers are as reliable as they've always been.) and John won't even know about it until half a year from now. Sooner, if Mycroft tells him, but he won't. There's no point.

I wish I'd told him. I meant to. He knew I meant to, I think. I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to hear it, so I made a joke instead - imparting something equally serious but ignorable. Five years and he's never figured out what I am. (Granted, I was gone for half of the time, but still.)

It doesn't matter. I'm a man. It's simultaneously comforting and alarming that he never noticed that I didn't start out the way I am now, especially given how careless I was about leaving my hormone needles in the kitchen. I wonder what he thought they were. Not drugs - even though he knows about them, he never really expects it from me. He must have thought that they were for science.

Doesn't matter. Plane's about to take off. This is my favorite part. The take off.

Private jet means I can keep this experience to myself. Drugs have always enhanced my sensations, too.

I should write the list. Mycroft does get terribly fussy about that. It won't matter, but it might soften the blow. Where are my...

Fold up the paper. Put it in my breast pocket. Get out my needles and pills.

This is the best take off I've ever had. What a view.

What a nice way to die.


End file.
